Thanks to everyone who has sent me cards and called me, etc. It is just amazing to know that we are in each other's hearts. I apologize as I have not been physically able to respond to each person, but am trying to do so here.
DEAR FAMILY: Many of asked if there is something you can do for me. It is difficult because of the miles between us. But if you will help me communicate with everyone will be such a blessing. Especially those that do not use a computer. Fortunately, there are no secrets here, and all is open for loved ones to know. Here is my list from this week:
I hope that someone will call my Aunt Alice for me and let her know that I got her message on the phone. I am honored that she called me and appreciate her her care. Let her know that so many of childhood memories include her.
My dad is worried and though Catherine called him the other day, he needs some reassurance that these chemo treatments are only temporary.
My dear Aunt Eva and her family sent me a card. I am so happy to have received it. Please let her know that I feel their love and support.
My cousin Lela --- if someone could reach out to her and let her know that I heard her message on the phone. And again, how blessed I am to have the love and support.
Mae, Carol texted me and please know that you and your daughters have been on my mind and in my prayers.
I have to tell you that the last week has been the worst of my life. I was told that after chemo, I could expect the following:
- nausea for a few days-- but many nausea medications are given
- bone pain and body aches from the neulasta shot (to increase white blood cells) -- suggested Tylenol and clartin to take in advance to help ward this off
Okay, I could handle this. It's that little caveat the they all say at the end that really gets you, "but there's no telling for sure because every one's different."
YIKES -- isn't that the truth right there. Eleven days ago I had my first chemo treatment, and I'm still suffering. The physical pain lasted for about five days due to the neulasta. Finally, relief from that! I thought I was over the hump --- but on Wednesday, nausea came on like a storm --- Chris even called the ambulance I was in a bad way. But into the afternoon things settled down as I was more and more medicated.
So far I have learned that if I stay medicated enough, I can get through it. It just is knowing when and how bad things will be. I have sores in my mouth, throat, lips, and the medication makes me drowsy and groggy all most all the time.
Gosh I know this sounds awful and lots of complaining.... sorry -- for me it is only the truth.
I plan to visit with my doctor next week and discuss other options.
This being all said, I am reminded of the people who are suffering more than I can imagine, and it humbles me. I also think of Our Lord, in the Garden of Gethsemane, He knew in advance the pain and suffering he would endure; but did it anyway. I have a little insight know as to how that is, and only ask for His mercy.
