NOW I KNOW I AM A CANCER PATIENT --- OH THE PAIN.....

Thursday -- July 31 was my first chemo-therapy.  Not so bad.   The port in my shoulder makes administering the medication very easy.   The surprise is that it took almost 5 hours.  I was seated at 9:30 am.  Received an anti-nausea IV medication.  The first of the three chemo drugs (Docetaxel) began in my IV at 10:00; at 11:30 I received the second (Carboplatin); and finally at 1:30 I received the third Trastuzumab. Long day -- of drip drip drip.

Docetaxel and Carboplatin prevent cancer cells from dividing and growing and can cause them to shrink and die (that is if there are any left in my body at all after the surgery). The Trastuzumab is targets the cancer cells even more precisely and

I walked out of  there feeling pretty good -- no big deal I thought.   Had a nice little dinner, appetite a bit low.  Took the nausea meds they gave me, just to make sure that I wouldn't get sick.   First night - good!

Friday, I returned to the doctors office for a NEULASTA shot.  I will receive this the day after chemo throughout my treatment.  This is a shot in the arm or stomach and is purposed to build white blood cells in the bones.  I was warned that my bones would ache some, and it is different for everyone.  Tylenol and claritin were prescribed.  Interesting -- the claritin has been found to help cancer patients with bone pain.

NOW I KNOW I AM A CANCER PATIENT --- the warning about the bone pain was highly under-estimated.   At first it begins with just a little shock of pain here and there, then an ached for a few minutes, then it builds into excruciating pain like I have never known.

This little chart shows a bit about how the pain comes and goes.  Then the overall pain.  And from time to time it truly feels like a saw blade riping through my breast bone, back, and pelvis.   For the last two days it has been such a struggle.   I tried to manage it with tylenol and clariton, and it has helped at moments.  Last nite was the worst!

TODAY!  Chris was up early this morning with the doctor --- we're bringing in the big guns.  Hydrocodone/Acetaminophine 5-325 mg every four hours four pain!  YIPPEE!
I promise to keep you posted on more --- but for now I must find my rest ---- finally!
Blessings to all.

What am I doing here?

LIKE MY NEW LOOK!

Honestly, I must admit that I have been under a bit of disillusionment since my diagnosis.  While I fully understand that my cancer was early at Stage 1A and that we removed it all through the surgery, and all margins and lymph nodes were clear; I thought I had sort of dodged a bullet with the amount of treatment and pain I would have to do.

At the moment, I am cancer free --- so everything we are doing now is to make sure that I stay that way.   OK-- I got it!  No big deal --- take the treatment and move on.

On June 24th I attended the mandatory chemo class at my oncologists office.  Here a nurse talks with a small group of new patients about what to expect with chemotherapy.   This meeting was like a bucket of cold ice water thrown in my face.

I walked into a very modest conference room and saw a dozen or so other people.  As I reached for my seat, I recognized one of the participants is a business acquaintance who I've known for a few years.  Our mouths agape -- we stared at each other.  "What are you doing here?" we both thought without saying word.

The room had patients with all different kinds of cancers -- breast, leukemia, colon, brain, ovarian, etc. Seeing this I felt as if I didn't belong.  My cancer was small and gone. These folks had lots facing them -- and I just had to take some medicine.

As the class progressed I realized that I was wrong.  Actually, just about everyone was post surgery and, like me, in chemo to kill cancer cells so it doesn't come back.  EYE OPENER:  The nurse discussed the list of medications and side effects, but reassured us that not to worry because their goal is to help us manage the pain as best possible and minimize discomfort. 

What does that mean?  Will it be like a tooth ache, or probably I won't feel anything much that a Tylenol can't handle -- I was certain. As the class went on, I learned about the suffering that goes on with chemotherapy --- how the medicines do kill cancer cells, and other normal cells too.  Then how other medicines are used to boost your white blood count.  But the side effects----- OH WOW THE SIDE EFFECTS!    I have three medicines for nausea, vomiting, medications for bone pain, muscle aches, blisters in the mouth, constipation, diarrhea, rashes, numbness, dizziness, on and on.

We (the patients) began to compare notes and we were quick to discover that the cancer experience is different for everyone.   Walking away from the class, I left with a bit fear, and a knot way deep in my stomach.   What am I going to be facing?   I know that God will help me and my faith in Him will carry me through --- I just hope it doesn't hurt.