Well its finally Fall, my favorite time of year. I hope that you are enjoying it too!
They say you shouldn't dream your life away. Well I've been working hard at trying not to do that.
I have lots of dreams lately, due to my sleeping 10 to 15 hours a day. Going through cancer is the only time your doctors will praise you for this behavior, I'm sure. But my body is fighting off the toxins and side effects of the chemotherapy, and your body only heals and grows when you sleep. That's why I'm fatiqued so much. But its all good.
When I'm awake I' also dreaming about how nice it will be this time next month when this harsh chemotherapy is completed. I have only four more treatments -- last one November 6. Since I am suffering with most of the side effects that come from it; I will be able to really heal and feel good within weeks after that --- Just In Time For the HOLIDAYS!!! They say that a few of the side effects will probably take a month or two. Soon I'll be enjoying oysters on the half shell and a glass of wine with Chris!!!
Some of my side effects are numbness in my fingers, feet, and around my mouth; puffiness due the steroids in my face; watery eyes that often feel like I have sand in them because of loosing my eye lashes; minor nose bleeds from time to time; headaches, nausea, open wounds from erroneus scratches that don't heal because my body doesn't have enough umph for that right now; and of course fatique. I have low hemoglobin levels in my blood which causes this.
Hemoglobin is a protein in red blood cells that carries oxygen to the rest of the body. Since mine is low, the onocologist has recommended that I eat more red meat. I've learned that iron supplements are not useful here because it is not the right kind of iron, and iron rich vegetables while good for supplementing normal health, do not give enough 4% to make a difference. Red meats are the highest and will do the best.
So for the last week, Chris has been feeding me what I love love love. Roast beef, steak, goat, liver, tonight we'll be having homemade beef stew for dinner... and low and behold my shakes are gone, and when awake I am energized. My appetite is not the greatest, but having this good stuff does motivate me to eat a bit more. Up until now I've mostly been eating fresh fruits and veggies, protein -- boiled eggs or a little chicken or fish. Now with fall/winter -- still keeping up with some fresh fruit, but mostly roasted veg. and of course red meat. Oh yes, I've also become addicted to aloe vera juice (slightly flavored with citrus -- from the Korean Grocery) about six ounces a day is helping to heal my digestive track from all the harsh meds etc. Good Stuff!
A couple of weeks ago, I started experiencing pain in my left arm between the shoulder and elbow. It was managable for the first two days, but by the third day was unbearable. Chris took me to urget care. Come to find out I had pinched a nerve in my neck. So the doctor gave me a shot of muscle relaxant, pain reliever Rx, and a sling to wear for a week. Fortunately all got well within days. But wondering how that happened .... it occurred to me that I had put on a very strong holding sports bra (telling you --- it was a struggle) that I used after breast surgery. Don't know why I did this, and no one was around to help. I think that in that struggle is when I pinched that nerve ---- go figure!
A shout out to my friend John Sullivan in NYC. He made a pilgramage to Spain in September walking the Camino De Santiago trail, in his last email he wrote: I walked this last segment of the Camino thinking of you today. I pray that you are well. I am now staying in the small Spanish village of Navarette. I have now completed over 150 km of the Camino de Santiago. The Camino is like an allegory of life with many ups and downs. I offer my prayers for your recovery and look forward to sending you pictures of the small town.
I am so honored by his kindness and mindfulness. The fact that he even has seen the original hometown of my family is fantastic. Hugs to you and our friendship John, I wish I could find the words to express how I feel about the significance your prayers are in my life.
A few folks have commented that they miss seeing my blog more often. I am so flattered by that. Can't say enough how much it matters to me that we are connected. Anyway, I started the blog as an easy way to keep you all up dated whenever there are changes, etc. So please know that sometimes it will be up dated monthlyish or every weeklyish or even dailyish. It just depends on whats going on, and my health/ability to write. So no worries if a few weeks go by, I will always keep you posted if there is something important.
In the meantime, please keep me posted on what's going on your way. Thank you all so much for your emails and phone calls, and cards. Your love and prayers have kept this time from being so difficult. I keep you in my prayers too. May God bless you in extra special ways this season.
With love, prayers, and peace,
Rita
